New Music | "Ivy"
I’ve been in the process of writing this one for a while now.
I started writing it the last time I came out to Cali before the move (almost 2 months ago now). With all of the changes this new season is bringing in, I often find myself at a loss for words.
I often find myself trapped up in my head, trying to untangle my thoughts. What goes on inside our mind directly and indirectly affects what goes on outside too though. Sometimes doubt, envy and insecurity come out to play through actions and we end up hurting the ones we love as a result.
There’s such a stigma around dealing with what’s going on inside - the good the bad and the ugly. This song is about realizing there’s something going on that’s bigger than yourself, surrendering to God’s plan, and allowing yourself to accept the help that the right people want to give.
You’re not alone and there’s no shame in getting help and letting it all out - especially in a creative way!
Sending love always,
don’t you find it funny how it’s the little things
like a shingle falling off the roof in spring
getting to your gate on time to find your flight delayed
or saying something you don’t mean to prove a point you made
it’s enough to make you go mad
one notch at a time, the pressure builds inside
but I won’t let it out unless the aesthetic’s right
hard-headed, forget it, don’t sweat it, I’ll be just fine
I’m just taking a quick walk ‘round the dark parts of my mind
but sometimes I take a wrong turn and I’m scared no one will find me
try to scream, try to run, but I’m tangled in envy + ivy
I just don’t know what to believe anymore, I’m don’t keeping score and what I thought was a steady hand needed some holding
I catch myself play the same move in every fight
how I know nothing at all but somehow I’m always right
It’s really something, ain’t it? to get stuck up in your head
air tight, tongue tied, stationary, full speed ahead
but sometimes I step on the breaks and I can’t feel the resistance
I can’t scream, I can’t run, I’m just gliding on instincts + chances
but there’s no shame in knowing you’re meant for more, that’s what faith is for and if your hand is shaking, let someone hold it